Ageing With Grace

I have a dear friend that is forever trying to change me to fit his idea of how I should look. It’s his own game of "Queer Eye For The Straight Girl", or "My Fair Lady". He has been after me to go see his hairdresser or to change the way I dress to fit some sort of social standard. “You’ll look ten years younger,” he said. My friend said that he is in charge of my hair from now on and I am to stop getting Goth looking haircuts and the black and purple has to go! Who cares! I work in a warehouse not some upscale office job. Why cna't freinds accept us for who we are?

I found it difficult to set boundaries with him as he is very well meaning and we are good friends. He knew that I was not about to spend the $150 dollars or so that it would take to get an appointment with Pedro so he offered to help pay. When I refused, then got Pedro to set an appointment for on $80. Such a deal! I eplained to him that their are starving people on this planet and even if I could afford that I would rather go to Ace or Scream on Capital Hill and donate the rest to a food bank.

Some time ago I stopped dyeing my hair. I am letting the silver that shows my age come through. I gave up manicures and pedicures so that I could pay for yoga classes. Some how yoga seems to have more long-range benefits than girly nails.
If there is one thing that I know for sure it is that I will never get out of life alive. I think that I would rather enjoy each sage of my life as it comes rather than pretending to be something I am not. I believe that it will cause me less conflict and anxiety to age gracefully and with dignity than waking up one day 30 years from now and suddenly discover that I am ‘old’. While there is nothing wrong with trying to look our best and present ourselves in and dignified manner there is no reason to try and lie to ourselves or others about who we are. That includes not lying or feeling bad about our age.

Too me it seems that part of being in the ever-present ‘present’ is to enjoy life as it comes and to know that I can’t step in the same river twice. Becoming a mature female is a wonderful thing despite our societies continual pressure to worship youth. I am a suggestion for anyone that feels depressed when they watch a T.V. commercial that tries to sell happiness and plays on the insecurities of the viewer. Turn the T.V. off. Turn off the radio. Read a book and get an Ipod and ignore advertisements. You may find it easier to learn to love yourself, once you have accomplished that it is just a short step to loving others for who and what they are.

Pax,
Marsha