Let me introduce you all to my new grandson Jaden Seth Fountain born June 19th at 5:15 in the morning. Now this is bragging!
Proud Grandmama+
Saturday, June 21, 2008
BRAGGING AND BRAGGING!!
Let me introduce you all to my new grandson Jaden Seth Fountain born June 19th at 5:15 in the morning. Now this is bragging!
Proud Grandmama+
Friday, June 13, 2008
Speech the Gnostic Way or Just the Right Way?
In responding to a comment on my previous post I decided that a follow up post to “Bragging or Complaining” was needed. I spent some time thinking about just as I promised J.P. I would do. Here is what I came up with:
I stated in that post that “Very little of our every day speech is needed. When I think of just how little functional speech we use and how much is just extra prattle it amazes me. “
So just what sort of speech is needed? What type of talking doesn’t fall under my lump categories of braggin’ and complainin’?
I remembered learning some things about speech in two of the spiritual paths that I have traveled. On is Al-Anon, the other is Buddhism. They both seem to agree with each other on this subject but they express it in different ways. So here is the gist of what they both have taught me. You will need to study “Right Speech” as part of the Eight Fold Noble Path for more details from the Buddhist perspective and then spend some time in Al-Anon to learn what that program taught me. You may come up with your own criteria for deciding what to say and when. I think that may be the best way.
From Al-Anon I learned that I have to THINK before speaking. In other words before I open my mouth and say anything I need to examine my mind and my motives.
T thoughtful
H honest
I intelligent
N necessary
K kind
If what I am about to say meets all of these criteria then it is fine to say it. If it only meets some of them, then it is Braggin’ or Complainin’ at best it is only bragging or complaining. If it is gossip or slanderous or harmful in anyway then in reality it is even worse than my two little broad categories. Let me give you an example of how some speech may not be all of these things.
If my coworker does not take out the trash and vacuum and I say something about it I first need to look at why am I saying it? What are my motives? Who am I saying it to?
Simply because it may be true doesn’t mean I need to say it. When I say it am I judging him? Do I know why he didn’t do it? Do I really know how busy he was or am I assuming that he just didn’t bother. Even if I know that he just didn’t bother why do I need to say it to anyone? If a supervisor asks me if it he did it I can just say ‘No’. There is no need to elaborate unless she asks for details. So in this case it is better for me to keep my mouth shut.
If I am on a Spirtual Path, what right do I have to say something that doesn't build up others.
Of course this doesn't meen that I need to be a doormat. Just that I need to use correct speech.
The Five Keys to Right Speech.
"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."
— AN 5.198
Blessings,
M+
I stated in that post that “Very little of our every day speech is needed. When I think of just how little functional speech we use and how much is just extra prattle it amazes me. “
So just what sort of speech is needed? What type of talking doesn’t fall under my lump categories of braggin’ and complainin’?
I remembered learning some things about speech in two of the spiritual paths that I have traveled. On is Al-Anon, the other is Buddhism. They both seem to agree with each other on this subject but they express it in different ways. So here is the gist of what they both have taught me. You will need to study “Right Speech” as part of the Eight Fold Noble Path for more details from the Buddhist perspective and then spend some time in Al-Anon to learn what that program taught me. You may come up with your own criteria for deciding what to say and when. I think that may be the best way.
From Al-Anon I learned that I have to THINK before speaking. In other words before I open my mouth and say anything I need to examine my mind and my motives.
T thoughtful
H honest
I intelligent
N necessary
K kind
If what I am about to say meets all of these criteria then it is fine to say it. If it only meets some of them, then it is Braggin’ or Complainin’ at best it is only bragging or complaining. If it is gossip or slanderous or harmful in anyway then in reality it is even worse than my two little broad categories. Let me give you an example of how some speech may not be all of these things.
If my coworker does not take out the trash and vacuum and I say something about it I first need to look at why am I saying it? What are my motives? Who am I saying it to?
Simply because it may be true doesn’t mean I need to say it. When I say it am I judging him? Do I know why he didn’t do it? Do I really know how busy he was or am I assuming that he just didn’t bother. Even if I know that he just didn’t bother why do I need to say it to anyone? If a supervisor asks me if it he did it I can just say ‘No’. There is no need to elaborate unless she asks for details. So in this case it is better for me to keep my mouth shut.
If I am on a Spirtual Path, what right do I have to say something that doesn't build up others.
Of course this doesn't meen that I need to be a doormat. Just that I need to use correct speech.
The Five Keys to Right Speech.
"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."
— AN 5.198
Blessings,
M+
Monday, June 02, 2008
Are You Bragging or Complaining?
I have taken about a week or so to process internally the time spent on our Gnostic retreat. Not only as a participant but also as the organizer. This is not the time or place for me to go into the things that I learned on hosting a retreat or what I will do differently next time. Rather, this blog is my personal blog so I will only focus on my own experiences and insights.
One of the things that I like most about retreat is the silence. It takes me no time at all to settle into the silence. Don't get me wrong, there was some talking, we had to speak to say our daily offices and mass as well as I had to give some instructions on the different meditations that we were doing. I can't expect everyone to simply read my mind. We also had to have some basic functional speech to get meals prepared. Even with the recipes out on the counter it still become necessary for people unfamiliar with a kitchen to ask where to put the mixing bowl and where the trash bags are kept. I have been on retreat were every drawer had labels on it so you could just look and figure it out. Most of the time everyone was able to look around and make a good guess as to where to find things or where to put them back so there was very little of this type of speech.
I discovered that because I have to be so outgoing and chatty on my job that I relished not having to talk. Very little of our every day speech is needed. When I think of just how little functional speech we use and how much is just extra prattle it amazes me. There is nothing quite like a silent retreat to really point this out. So just what is the rest of our speech for?
As I am sure you can guess from the title of this post I have come to the conclusion that it is all bragging or complaining.
Now before you get all defensive and jump all over me let me explain what I mean by this. If you really think about how and why we communicate things to other people around us it will make sense. When ever we tell others about the events in our lives we always tell it in a certain light. Not only do we only have our perception to tell, we tell it in the light in which we want others to see it. Obviously we can't tell it from the vantage point of anyone else since we only have our own experiences. As any one that has ever dealt with the courts can tell you eye witnesses are very unreliable. We each see things differently. We each have our own reality. Now lets add to this the idea of telling things in a 'certain light'. By this I mean that we choose which details to emphasize and which parts of the story to leave out. We paint a picture of ourselves as heroes, victims. martyrs, fools, lovers, or any one of any number of other possibilities. We blame the cop that gave us the ticket and complain about what a jerk he was and down play or even ignore the fact that we were speeding. We blame our boss for our low pay rate and pass over the part about how much time we spend slacking off every day. The opposite can also be true. We can brag about how much time we spend doing anything but our job and paint our boss as a fool and ourselves as clever.
Complete and total honesty (bearing in mind that honesty with out compassion is cruelty) is not used all that often. Now obviously if someone we love has spent hours making us a fine meal and it isn't really what we wanted to eat it would be rude to just blurt out "But I wanted to go out instead!" Perhaps in that sort of case it is better to simply say "Thank you." So take into consideration such things and ponder this idea for a bit.
I wont bother you with other examples of just how this can work, but leave it to you the reader (do I have readers?) to see if this holds true for your life as well as mine. I do have other things that really struck me while on retreat that I will post at a later time.
M+
One of the things that I like most about retreat is the silence. It takes me no time at all to settle into the silence. Don't get me wrong, there was some talking, we had to speak to say our daily offices and mass as well as I had to give some instructions on the different meditations that we were doing. I can't expect everyone to simply read my mind. We also had to have some basic functional speech to get meals prepared. Even with the recipes out on the counter it still become necessary for people unfamiliar with a kitchen to ask where to put the mixing bowl and where the trash bags are kept. I have been on retreat were every drawer had labels on it so you could just look and figure it out. Most of the time everyone was able to look around and make a good guess as to where to find things or where to put them back so there was very little of this type of speech.
I discovered that because I have to be so outgoing and chatty on my job that I relished not having to talk. Very little of our every day speech is needed. When I think of just how little functional speech we use and how much is just extra prattle it amazes me. There is nothing quite like a silent retreat to really point this out. So just what is the rest of our speech for?
As I am sure you can guess from the title of this post I have come to the conclusion that it is all bragging or complaining.
Now before you get all defensive and jump all over me let me explain what I mean by this. If you really think about how and why we communicate things to other people around us it will make sense. When ever we tell others about the events in our lives we always tell it in a certain light. Not only do we only have our perception to tell, we tell it in the light in which we want others to see it. Obviously we can't tell it from the vantage point of anyone else since we only have our own experiences. As any one that has ever dealt with the courts can tell you eye witnesses are very unreliable. We each see things differently. We each have our own reality. Now lets add to this the idea of telling things in a 'certain light'. By this I mean that we choose which details to emphasize and which parts of the story to leave out. We paint a picture of ourselves as heroes, victims. martyrs, fools, lovers, or any one of any number of other possibilities. We blame the cop that gave us the ticket and complain about what a jerk he was and down play or even ignore the fact that we were speeding. We blame our boss for our low pay rate and pass over the part about how much time we spend slacking off every day. The opposite can also be true. We can brag about how much time we spend doing anything but our job and paint our boss as a fool and ourselves as clever.
Complete and total honesty (bearing in mind that honesty with out compassion is cruelty) is not used all that often. Now obviously if someone we love has spent hours making us a fine meal and it isn't really what we wanted to eat it would be rude to just blurt out "But I wanted to go out instead!" Perhaps in that sort of case it is better to simply say "Thank you." So take into consideration such things and ponder this idea for a bit.
I wont bother you with other examples of just how this can work, but leave it to you the reader (do I have readers?) to see if this holds true for your life as well as mine. I do have other things that really struck me while on retreat that I will post at a later time.
M+
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Spring Goddess Garden
Spring has finally come to the Emerald City and with it I have finally had a couple of days to work on the Goddess Meditation Garden that will one day be out behind the garage. I had had grandiose visions of it being complete by this time. The Gnostic Retreat starts in just a couple of days. I had wanted it to be a place of solace that those participating in the retreat could go and sit, pray, meditate, say the Gnostic Rosary or chant the Tara mantra. Hmm, not gonna happen.
The previous owners of our property used that area as a dumping ground. Now I don’t just mean that they had the compost bin out there, I mean that they literally did not have trash service for seven years. Once every few months they would load up a truck and make a run to the city dump. Why???
I have this image of them as looking something like Ma and Pa Kettle with chicken coops and rabbit hutches and a hound dog out back. Nothing quite like the sound of a rooster at five AM to start the day.
So last year my husband pulled out several dump load of garbage and we racked and put down bark. I purchased a nice bamboo plant and an archway to go at the entrance. I pulled up all the weeds and thought. This is good, over the winter it will all just sit here and in the spring I can plant some flowers, set up an altar and a mediation bench. Oh yeah, I thought I could put a labyrinth in the back yard too. hahhahahahhaha
Then reality set it. The first warm day I went out and found that some how even in the snow and rain the weeds were back. But they had shallow roots and were not to hard to pull up. On the advice of my father in-law I dug up all the dirt that was resting against the side of the garage so that the wood will not rot. Good idea. This however uncovered even more layers of garbage. Candy wrappers, old gloves, broken window panes, some carpet, tampons. WHAT!! Ahhh man!
I have placed some used concert bricks that my neighbor didn’t want anymore (they are fairly hideous) along the garage wall to keep the dirt from piling back up on it. Now I need to level it out, I need to remove a large quantity of dirt (mixed with trash) in order to make it reasonably level. The back of the yard is higher so it will slope, but with any luck I can make it a gentle sloping mound rather than a big step or a hill all sloping back to the garage wall. I am not sure what to do with the excess dirt. Erik has some ideas.
One of my neighbors was separating some bulbs and left them in my yard for me to plant. OK, I have no idea where to plant them since the soil isn’t ready but they are going in the ground by the start of the retreat. They will be dead if I wait.
The lawn might not get mowed again before the retreat either. I think we missed our window of opportunity the other day. The grass is just a tad too tall now, but the grass is also damp. It is nice and grean however and that is a huge improvement over last year.
Oh yes, the lilacs are in bloom!! I thought that they would have died off by now, but so far they are doing great. We may have fresh flowers for the chapel every day. That would be so nice. Don't plan on it though. My cat likes to eat them and then she throws up, so we may be skipping the indoor flowers all together.
My cat rules the house. You have been warned. Or in the words of Wendsday Adams: "Be afraid, be very afraid."
M
The previous owners of our property used that area as a dumping ground. Now I don’t just mean that they had the compost bin out there, I mean that they literally did not have trash service for seven years. Once every few months they would load up a truck and make a run to the city dump. Why???
I have this image of them as looking something like Ma and Pa Kettle with chicken coops and rabbit hutches and a hound dog out back. Nothing quite like the sound of a rooster at five AM to start the day.
So last year my husband pulled out several dump load of garbage and we racked and put down bark. I purchased a nice bamboo plant and an archway to go at the entrance. I pulled up all the weeds and thought. This is good, over the winter it will all just sit here and in the spring I can plant some flowers, set up an altar and a mediation bench. Oh yeah, I thought I could put a labyrinth in the back yard too. hahhahahahhaha
Then reality set it. The first warm day I went out and found that some how even in the snow and rain the weeds were back. But they had shallow roots and were not to hard to pull up. On the advice of my father in-law I dug up all the dirt that was resting against the side of the garage so that the wood will not rot. Good idea. This however uncovered even more layers of garbage. Candy wrappers, old gloves, broken window panes, some carpet, tampons. WHAT!! Ahhh man!
I have placed some used concert bricks that my neighbor didn’t want anymore (they are fairly hideous) along the garage wall to keep the dirt from piling back up on it. Now I need to level it out, I need to remove a large quantity of dirt (mixed with trash) in order to make it reasonably level. The back of the yard is higher so it will slope, but with any luck I can make it a gentle sloping mound rather than a big step or a hill all sloping back to the garage wall. I am not sure what to do with the excess dirt. Erik has some ideas.
One of my neighbors was separating some bulbs and left them in my yard for me to plant. OK, I have no idea where to plant them since the soil isn’t ready but they are going in the ground by the start of the retreat. They will be dead if I wait.
The lawn might not get mowed again before the retreat either. I think we missed our window of opportunity the other day. The grass is just a tad too tall now, but the grass is also damp. It is nice and grean however and that is a huge improvement over last year.
Oh yes, the lilacs are in bloom!! I thought that they would have died off by now, but so far they are doing great. We may have fresh flowers for the chapel every day. That would be so nice. Don't plan on it though. My cat likes to eat them and then she throws up, so we may be skipping the indoor flowers all together.
My cat rules the house. You have been warned. Or in the words of Wendsday Adams: "Be afraid, be very afraid."
M
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Cereal Bowl and Calm.
Ahhh,
I feel so much better.
I do apologize for my rambling post last evening. It was meant as a way for me to express my relief that I had taken a step back and was breathing and relaxing now after stressing for a week only to come across as more stress.
Sorry 'bout that.
My husband and I spent the day putting some finish touches on the cottage prior to Gnostic Retreat '08. He cleaned the garage out and we took two car loads of stuff off to the dump. I reopened my Pier One Imports charge card and purchased new rugs for in front of the kitchen sink and both restrooms. I got a new table runner and replaced the curtains that separate the kitchen from the entryway and living room. It really lightened up the place! The old ones looked good in the last place I lived in but they were way to heavy and dark here. Our ceilings are only around 8 feet and the rooms are small that the heavy goth look just has to change. I have a vision of 'Cottage Goth' but it will take time. We hung up a curtain to be a 'door' over the entrance to the upstairs closet space so it doesn't look junky. I have one to put over the entry way to the 'Crows Nest' room that one of the retreatents will be sleeping in to give her some privacy. I can't hang it up yet as it does cut off the air flow to the rest of the upstairs and it will get way to warm.
We put the old folding chairs out on the deck for people to enjoy. They are kinda dirty but they are there.
I picked up more food. WHY? I have no idea. OK I do know. I have this urge to feed the whole world so I start with those around me. Yet for some reason I try to live on a 1200 (or less) calorie a day diet myself. I am completely nutts of course.
OH yes, I have four new cereal bowls so we don't have to eat in shifts.
I wish I had time to paint the bathrooms and the chapel before the retreat starts. Oh well. However! I have a new red altar frontal! The chapel looks great!!! Why did I make new white vestments when we are in the red season during retreat? h well, I will wear the white and and use the red stole and chalice veil. It will be fine.
M+
I feel so much better.
I do apologize for my rambling post last evening. It was meant as a way for me to express my relief that I had taken a step back and was breathing and relaxing now after stressing for a week only to come across as more stress.
Sorry 'bout that.
My husband and I spent the day putting some finish touches on the cottage prior to Gnostic Retreat '08. He cleaned the garage out and we took two car loads of stuff off to the dump. I reopened my Pier One Imports charge card and purchased new rugs for in front of the kitchen sink and both restrooms. I got a new table runner and replaced the curtains that separate the kitchen from the entryway and living room. It really lightened up the place! The old ones looked good in the last place I lived in but they were way to heavy and dark here. Our ceilings are only around 8 feet and the rooms are small that the heavy goth look just has to change. I have a vision of 'Cottage Goth' but it will take time. We hung up a curtain to be a 'door' over the entrance to the upstairs closet space so it doesn't look junky. I have one to put over the entry way to the 'Crows Nest' room that one of the retreatents will be sleeping in to give her some privacy. I can't hang it up yet as it does cut off the air flow to the rest of the upstairs and it will get way to warm.
We put the old folding chairs out on the deck for people to enjoy. They are kinda dirty but they are there.
I picked up more food. WHY? I have no idea. OK I do know. I have this urge to feed the whole world so I start with those around me. Yet for some reason I try to live on a 1200 (or less) calorie a day diet myself. I am completely nutts of course.
OH yes, I have four new cereal bowls so we don't have to eat in shifts.
I wish I had time to paint the bathrooms and the chapel before the retreat starts. Oh well. However! I have a new red altar frontal! The chapel looks great!!! Why did I make new white vestments when we are in the red season during retreat? h well, I will wear the white and and use the red stole and chalice veil. It will be fine.
M+
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Mediation
I like to meditate. OK, Some times, I hate to go do it and have to remind myself of its benefits before I can go sit on my cushion with a joyous heart. I try to not push myself or get overly enthusiastic about meditating. I have found that if I go at something as if I was shot out of a canon I will fall like a lead ball before very long. So I am taking the slow and steady approach to my meditation practice. A few minutes a day, every day, I can’t say that I have never skipped a day either, I have. In fact during the height of a recent illness I am sure I missed at least one day, but I do not have a good recollection of those two weeks so I can’t be sure.
Meditating gets me outside of myself. For a few minutes to universe stops rotating around my own head. I feel an ‘at oneness’ with the Pleroma. I let go of the ‘me-ness’ (if that is a word) and grow in love and understanding for my fellow beings. I try to carry this with me throughout my day. I am usually only partially successful. I find that when I drive to work the people that don’t understand the definition of ‘merging’ don’t bother me as much. I am less apt to be phased by a late or lax co-worker than I was ten years ago…two years ago. In the past things other people did would greatly effect ‘me’. ‘How dare that lady cut me off on the freeway’ or ‘the nerve of him to say that to me’ and on and on and on.
I made mountains not out of molehills but out of a grain of sand. I would tell my woes to anyone and everyone that would listen. In fact I would do it again and again and again. Now when I see people turning the little slide shows of their lives into an epic movie with themselves as the producer, director and star I smile. Not to laugh at them, I know that they really believe that the melodrama in their life is all that, no but because I can see my old self in them. Some times I still do this.
Meditation has become for me in many ways it is like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and knowing that is really isn’t a train. Hope grows, peace abides. I am centered but no longer the center of the universe rather I am just one more speck of star dust shinning for a microsecond in the course of events that make up the All that arose from the No-thing. The more time I spend on the Path that leads to Liberation. The Way of the Gnosis of the heart, the more I love, the more I learn, the less i am an I and the more I just 'am'.
May the Peace which passeth all Understanding be with you.
Amen+
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